Lowbar Meta
britney, nsynch, new york times, lowbar, low, bar, howie hardcore, bk freshmilk, crazy chuck, yo mama, automating trading, trading, bow chica bow, trade entry, photo, game, gai pow,art, liquor, star bar, hong kong bar, reporting, reporting systems, back-office connectivity, snufalufagus, pablo picasso, graffiti, data delivery, dyrty sanchez, san diego dive bars, britney, strange wrestling, spears, tits, nipples, peter north, gay porn, hot, teen, asian, masturbation, assfuck, pulse right bullet vibe, anal pucer, annabel, chupacabras, pornophobe, man handzz, CNSP, death metal, d batteries, freddy prinze jr, microsoft, apple, motorola, the onion, james bond, nirvana, green day, xxxx, xxxxxxx, x, xx, xxx, andy griffith, 60 minutes, cnn, ted turner, jane fonda, senator bob kerry, arbor day foundation, Hyakuyojyuuichi!!!, hash house harrier, niue, sheep liver fluke, crazychuck, george w. bush, brendan frasier, aidschimp, survivor, tom green, jackass, double nickels on a dime, nickel slots, horse race game, chentton klontt, AesFanzen, zito is neato, oakland, bay area, east bay, san diego, el cerrito, outer space.
Howie speaks
ApeRobot: howie-hooooo!
howbagley: timmieee
ApeRobot: word on the street is that you gave up the sauce
howbagley: geez
howbagley: i've never had my friends be more interested in me than now
ApeRobot: we should start calling you "howie softcore"!!
ApeRobot: we're just concerned, that's all
howbagley: I became a vegitarian too
howbagley: and gave up sugar
howbagley: and sleeping
ApeRobot: fuckin loser
howbagley: thanks
Ode to Howie
How I miss the old Howie. By the way, what the hell does this mean:
“Hey, slop jaw, quit boozgarting the felony juice so we can finish frontloading and get our fade on.” ?
Good gawd, well go to this funny site to find out!
The Lush Lexicon
Howie, let's go surfing!
Howie Softcore
CrazeeBuck: howie gave up drinking
CrazeeBuck: should we start calling him howie softcore?
H R Screwlack: he's done that before
H R Screwlack: that's hilarious post to blogg
H R Screwlack: howie softcore
CrazeeBuck: ill im you back with caot heinous
CrazeeBuck: and u log as lowbar
CrazeeBuck: and then u post the im
CrazeeBuck: cool?
H R Screwlack: sounds good
H R Screwlack: give me a sec to switch ID
LOWBAR dot com: aye
CaptainHeinous: did you hear?
LOWBAR dot com: what's that
CaptainHeinous: Howie stopped drinking, clean gave up alcohol!
LOWBAR dot com: mothafucka
LOWBAR dot com: I heard that before
LOWBAR dot com: think it will stick this time/
LOWBAR dot com: ?
CaptainHeinous: Does that mean we should start calling him Howie Softcore??!!
LOWBAR dot com: word
LOWBAR dot com: hilar
CaptainHeinous: naye, looks like we need a Lwobar reunion, and QUICK
CaptainHeinous: er Lowbar
LOWBAR dot com: fire up the cadillac
CaptainHeinous signed off at 8:42:24 AM.
Re: Birthday Present...
It did not dawn on me until just now, but what happens if the OSP and the EKV
don't intercept??? Not a good time to vacation in the Marshall Islands I would say!
On Second Thought...
The last thing San Diego needs is another bar. There are any fine ones to choose from, take Honey Beehive for example. Instead I am going to re-focus my life, starting with becoming a vegetarian, abstaining from chemical stimulants and sugar, practicing transendental meditation and love for my fellow man. I let you know how that goes.
My Birthday Present Courtesy of U.S. Tax Payers
The Missile Defense Agency (MDA) will conduct a developmental
flight test to include the planned intercept of a long-range
ballistic missile target in support of the Ground-Based
Midcourse Defense (GMD) test program on Saturday, Aug. 24, 2002.
The test will involve the launch of an Orbital Suborbital
Program (OSP) long-range missile from Vandenberg Air Force Base,
Calif. The OSP, a modified Minuteman II intercontinental
ballistic missile, will carry a mock warhead and decoys. About
20 minutes after the target missile is launched, and about 4,800
miles away, a ground-based interceptor carrying a prototype
exoatmospheric kill vehicle (EKV) interceptor will launch from
the Ronald Reagan Missile Test Facility at Kwajalein Atoll in
the Republic of the Marshall Islands. About 10 minutes later
the intercept is planned to take place at an altitude of
approximately 140 miles above the central Pacific Ocean during
the midcourse phase of the target warhead's flight.
I'm giving up what I got ta make it where I aint
Ever go down a path and decide that it's boring?... And then you see another path in the distance and you think, "hey, that looks interesting?" Why not? We only have one life to live. This is the only chance we have to be alive. Here's a challenge: take nothing and turn it into something. Take no credit, no money, no place to live, no job and turn it into a respectful business where thousands will flock. I hereby take that challenge. I hereby assume the position. I hereby fish fry. In six months, the bar called Low will exist. It will be located at/on the corner of Market and 5th Street in San Diego. Liquor license will be obtained and the best bartender (that woman at Lou's) in San Diego will be working there. Thousands will come and partake of the experience. It will be a lesson in shoestring-ismo. So out... its in. So lame... its sane. This is my quest. To dream the impossible dream. To live for the sake of tomorrow. To .... uh I forget. IN SHORT,,,, The Bar called Low will exist. You will get a beer there. You will give the bartender a good tip. How hard can it be?
Hotel Utah De-butt
Arrived... drew number 28.... one song was the rulez... waited til midnight... got up on stage.. blew out some Dead Kennedy's acoustic style.. had impromptu accompanyment from Mike, the guy who plays plastic bucket. On stage it sounded great, but that might have been the 12 beers talkin'...
Prepare to be humbled and silenced by my superior frames
In my opinion, the independent film world can learn a lot from gangster rap. When you ask independent film directors about other independent filmmakers and their work, their response is usually unwavering support and words of admiration and appreciation for their work/resourcefulness.
I'm like fuck that shit!!!!!!!!
What the independent film world needs is more trash talk and posturing among independent directors. I would like to introduce this concept by claiming the following:
My movie, Curbed Enthusiasm, will rock the fuck out of your movie. As my movie rockz the screenz, your movie will shrivel and cower away from it in awe. My movie gets all the bitches. Your movie should go back to pre-school, where it will learn the basic skillz needed to take its shit 2 anotha level. Your "film" must have skipped the day when basics were taught at elementary school, because it comes across as having some sort of developmental disorder when viewed.
Furthermore, my frames is tight and your frames is mad weak. When my frames are projected onto Tha Skreenz o' Dreamz, they come correct like "Boo-Ya!!" The frames of your movie barely make it to the screen because they are so wack. They need help and a nice bowl of soup.
Let me break it down like this: See that transition right there? The one where one scene melts into the next? That's a little joint I like to call "cross-dissolve". Hella tight, ain't it? Why don't you work on something like that and get back to me in about 12 years. Then I'll introduce you to a little tranzizzy I like to call "star wipe".
Still ain't feelin' me? Check this frame:
See the look on that man's face? The position of the fist? The fine costumery? That's my boy Jeff, and that's a little something I like to call "acting". It's a direct result of something I developed and like to call "directing". Take your ass to night school and figure it out, aiiiiiight?
Sept. 18-28. New York City. Let's battle.
Bring yo "A" gamez and "A" framez. You're gonna need it, cuz it's on.
-- Ace Framez up in dis
Tickle Me Fancily
So how exactly do you beat off with a stick? I want to try, does it hurt?
Hardcore Plunge
Tonight, sometime after 8pm, I will stand up in front of around 30 beer-soaked patrons of the Hotel Utah in San Francisco and I will perform five songs via guitar and voice. I anticipate beating off groupies with a stick, remembering every chord/lyric line and a major record deal before the night is over. I'll post what really happens tomorrow.
Frustrated Thoughts by Inuendo Man
- All I wanna do is just zooma zooma zoom in her poom poom;
- I'm gonna super size her happy meal;
- Check out the scamjet inlets on her aerospace propulsion unit!;
- I can't seem to find any ya-ya in her sisterhood;
- God, my high-performance compressor has a 30-to-1 pressure ratio again;
- Her county assessment just upped my escalation clause;
- Good God, I sprayed zymol all over her concourse;
- Hey baby, there's no way for me to tell my ram pressure when you leave the cover on my pitot tube;
- I'm gonna unclog her static port;
- If you have cuts or open sores, don't put your hands on my acid wash;
- I've been hotelling so much I need a new dongle;
- My bag is all beat up from all the overhead carrying on
Truth is stranger than fiction? You be the judge.| TRUTH | FICTION | EDGE |
| The platypus has the beak and webbed feet of a duck, fur like a wolf, a tail like a beaver and lays eggs... but it's a mammal! | Saber-toothed tigers flew around in a primitive form of helicopter. | Fiction |
| The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth. | Pepsi Cola was originally invented by Adolf Hitler as a cure for not being a blond-haired white person. | Fiction |
| The placement of a donkey's eyes in its head enables it to see all four feet at all times. | Jacques Cousteau once observed giraffes playing cards at the bottom of the sea. | Fiction |
| A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off. | The island of Ischia, off the southern coast of Italy, is made of magic caramels. | Fiction |
| The screwdriver was invented before the screw. | Orange sherbet is made from the pulverized skulls of our caveman ancestors. |
Fiction |
Iguanas, koalas and Komodo dragons all have two
penises. | Iguanas, koalas and Komodo dragons all have huge, delicious-tasting penises and can fuck all night. All night! They would also like you to give them a call at (555) 493-8213 if you want to hang out tonight. Their parents are out of town and they have a waterbed. | Truth |
| Termites eat wood twice as fast when listening to heavy metal music. | The Alawit tribe of Eskimo, native to Nova Scotia, have 170 different words for VCR Head Cleaner. | Fiction |
| Peanuts are used in the production of dynamite. | If you started from zero and counted to 15 at a pace of one number per second, it would take you more than 3,500 light years to complete the task. | Fiction |
| Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. | The guy who sat next to you on the bus this morning invented paper currency in 743 B.C. | Fiction |
| The praying mantis is the only insect that can turn its head. | The active ingredient in chewing gum is very poisonous poison. | Fiction |
| Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind damages spacesuits. | The idea behind this column is very good. | Fiction |
Why Yahoo Spam is Funny
E-Bayne
My pal Noah is selling some concert tickets on E-bay. Since another guy was selling tickets to the same show, Noah saved himself some time and copied his item description, changing some words as appropriate but mostly keeping the same idea. The guy took offense, and sent an e-mail to Noah. The following is the e-mail exchange, so far. Names have not been changed.
From: long_n_str8@yahoo.com on 07/31/2002 10:00:53 PM
To: Noah M. Santoro
Subject: Question for seller -- Item #1370527063
Can you construct your own item description or would you like to hire my services? Really don't appreciate the plagiarism. Feel free to respond.
From: Noah M. Santoro
To: long_n_str8@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Question for seller -- Item #1370527063
fuck off
From: long_n_str8@yahoo.com
To: Noah M. Santoro
Subject: Re: Question for seller -- Item #1370527063
Nice response asshole! By copying my description word for word you put a doubt in the bidder's mind about the legitimacy of both our tickets dickhead! I just wanted to talk to you and I'm greeted with a fuck off. Keep up the antics and I'll report your ass and make the Ebay community aware of your intentions. So why don't you fuck off!
From: Noah M. Santoro
To: long_n_str8@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Question for seller -- Item #1370527063
and what exactly do you think my intentions are? you're unemployed aren't you? you must be, cuz you have time on your hands to worry about shit like this.
oh, and it wasn't word for word, i fixed your spelling jackass.
TO BE CONTINUED....
