An attempted Oakland Embassy recap
It was great.
BK's pictures tell the story a lot better than words, so I'll leave the in-depth analysis up to the
photes and your personal deduction skills.
Extra special thanks and an incredible amount of respect goes to the following people:
-
Babbletron: If you like the rapping, and I know you do, the bottom line ensues: This group is fucking great and you need to pick up their 4-song EP immediately. They also lugged all their stuff from Brooklyn to Manhattan at very short notice and played for nothing. Almost everyone who caught their set stood their and stared with their jaws dropped open. It was very very very good, and I am very very very grateful.
- Russ Greenspan: Russ's alternate persona, Mr. G, kicked off the music program nicely with some head-bobbing selections from the
22grooves project. He also played some great new stuff. Russ took care of the sound the whole night, from ordering the equipment to making 4 different bands -- with 4 different sounds – all sound like frickin magic. He also played a ghost in a film about PacMan, and necked with his lovely wife Rachel on camera. Russ may very well have been the MVP of the night.
-
Ben Peyser: Ben spent a good chunk of the night in the A/V control room, pointing his video camera at a laptop screen. Due to an unforeseen hardware gaffe, the right cables weren't on hand to hook up Andre Karpov's laptop to the projector so's we could show animation. Low-tech solution to high-tech problem? Point Ben's trusty Canon XL-1 at the laptop screen and run a live feed to the projector. Due to his A/V room antics, Ben didn't even get to see the crowd's reaction to his film Layme Boys, which has now baffled minds on both coasts. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Ben. His name should be Champp.
-
The Hint: They packed up a van, drove from D.C. to NYC, unpacked the van, plugged in and rocked faces to a greater extent than was even promised. They undoubtedly made a bunch of new fans in the process. Many thanks to Joe, Denis, Peter and the posse of goodtime funpeeps that joined them on the NYC trek.
- Brian Kulak: Character actor. Film enthusiast. Promotions coordinator. Time-traveler. Photographer. Archivist. Music fan. Donator of all the fine 8mm movies everyone saw that night and seemed to enjoy immensely. Is there anything this man cannot do? The milk keeps getting fresher.
- Rob Thomson: "Golden Skate!", Rob’s documentary about roller-skating dancers in Golden Gate Park, was a huge hit. Furthermore, Rob added to the festive atmosphere of the evening by enticing a good 15-20 members of the Central Park Roller Skating Club to come along and enjoy the night’s antics. Kudos, Rob.
- The
Alan Thompson Sideshow: I've seen Alan play 3 times – each time with a different arrangement of instruments and incredibly talented musicians – and it gets better every time. Thanks to Alan, Renne, Chris and Tal for a great set, and here's hoping they will put out a CD real quick-like.
-
Andre Karpov: The animator extrordinaire was patient and festive, even when the technical difficulties started piling up. Check out his
site for some hot anima-frames.
- Jesse and the rest of the
vOID staff: Thanks for such a great venue and your help and hospitality throughout the night. I'm very grateful for all your help, and we couldn't have pulled anything off without all of you. When I think of vOID, I shall think of it fondly. Then I will take another sip of brandy from my snifter.
- Bryan and Hilarie: Thanks for being terrific hosts and making my first extended trip to NYC such a memorable one. Y'all is great, and I promise to do it up real nice when you crazies visit the Bay Area. Believe dat.
- Alyse Moynihan: Hells yeah, that's my wife. She designed the postcards, laid out the official FunBook and put up with my neurotic shit for about a month or two before the event. She's perfected the art of being awesome, and I love her.
Vote of Confidence: Captain Heinous, Professional AviatorH R Screwlack: have you seen: airdisaster.com?
Captain Heinous: no but i might be on there soon
Captain Heinous: so i picked this little airport that i had never been to before
Captain Heinous: and did a crosswind landing that went awfully bad quick
Captain Heinous: the left wheel went oin grass into a rut that kept pulling plane off to left, then off runway
Captain Heinous: then it ran into a deeper ditch and i could not recover, left wing smashed a trree, spun whole plane around and slammed nose first into the deep part of the ditch
Captain Heinous: fuel leaking, pilot door jammed, i exited passengfer door
H R Screwlack: pussy
Captain Heinous: huh?
H R Screwlack: a real captain goes down with his ship
H R Screwlack: unless the ship is insured
H R Screwlack: (was it?)
Captain Heinous: i went down with ship
Captain Heinous: yes
H R Screwlack: fuck it then, let's go bowling>
Captain Heinous: pics will be on the way
So I'm dying to know... How was the Oakland Embassy? Someone please post a synopsis.
The Witness Took A Plunge
I just had a really interesting experience in the Men's restroom in a government facility in the Midwestern U.S. Basically, I was following my normal morning routine: get to work late, grab some strong government-issue coffee, drink 16 ounces and see if I need 16 more, then hit the Men's room for my "3 Minutes of Freedom."
Now this morning, during my "3 Minutes of Freedom," the process was not particularly excruciating as I stuck to greens and a malted beverage last night. I did not even mind that there was another occupent in another stall making similarly odd noises and smells. However, after completing my task of, as the French put it, "Parachuting the Senegalese," I reached for the flush level and...NOTHING. So I am staring at a bowl of nasty and the freaking thing just won't flush. What to do. Well, with only one witness, who did not know what stage of the process I was in, I decided to cover up and bolt. So I grabbed 20% of the remaining TP, dropped it in one big lump in the salad bowl, washed my hands (in the sink of course), and bolted.
Afterwards I had a few of thoughts:
1) This is actually sort of a funny prank, even if the thing WOULD have flushed. You know the next guy would avoid that stall like the plague (and should), though it was the primo spot in the joint (inside wall, on end, furthest from urinals).
2) I am a grown man and potty humor still makes me laugh.
3) The only person that will even care is the loser "Retired-in-Place" government stiff that actually goes to the Men's room to catch up on reading and avoid those pesty phone calls and emails - for up to an hour!
4) This was not a dream.
Thought I'd share...
Last night I had two dreams...
Dream #1
I was in a van, much like a Super Shuttle. It was crowded and I knew a few of the passengers. For some reason I asked a fellow passenger for a joint. They produced one and I lit up the fat spliff. Then I passed it around. We arrived at a stop and somebody got out. By this time the doobie had been spent but the smoke lingered. As this person got out the Director of the FBI, who was standing just outside the door got a whiff. As the van was speeding off the Director ran after us and motioned to his nearby agents to follow us but the van driver ignored them. It became apparent that the FBI wasn't going to let us get by so easily, even though there was no more cannabis to be found on us. Cars were chasing us and then there were helicopters overhead. The driver of the van was incredibly cool-headed about the ordeal, chosing to take side alleys and duck under overhangs. When it became apparent that there would be an inevitable run-in with the authorities, we, the passengers got out of the van and dispersed quietly on foot, the driver all the while mellow and confident that nothing bad would happen to anyone.
Dream #2
I was acting goofy among a big group of co-workers, playing frisbee I think, being the life of the party, etc. when a male co-worker of mine brought up an event that killed my buzz. He said "remember those ads you did for 21st Century that one time?" I didn't remember but I slowly began to recollect. "There were all kinds of errors in them. The account manager said he had to alter every other word you wrote and they didn't make any sense." Then I began to remember. I was new to the job and I had been asked to come up with advertisments in one day that would talk about how our product had benefited this particular client. I had been shown a room with a few pieces of paper and a pencil. I thought they just wanted rough sketches but it turns out they wanted finished, ready-for-production ads. I then remebered that I had a sort of "fuck it, I don't really care about this" attitued. I had gone in there and drawn a bunch of cartoons that were loosely based on the task at hand. The person I met with there was quite impressed (on the surface) and they told me my ads were great. Rather than use them as a spring-board for finished ads they just ran what I gave them. They didn't even typeset them, so all the spelling errors I had on there and all the little irrelevant notes were just photographed and used as the print ads of a trade magazine. I tried to defend myself to the co-worker, who was disappointed in my performance. He even accused me of being drunk when I made those ads. I woke up thinking that I should have told him that I meant to do it and to go screw himself if he didn't recognize genius.
An After-thought
Well yes, the Captain got sucked into the whole 911 mumbo jumbo once again. I too saw the film the French guys made and was astounded at their "luck." I mean, here are two losers that were probably on strike from their day jobs in France, who somehow manage to con some fire station into a documentary. They stumble around in the way until BANG - death, destruction, and instant footage. It is a good thing, I suppose, that everything was docuemnted and hey, good for those guys. I guess I tried to keep from thinking about how terrible everything was by asking myself some of the following:
- Did the French guys know in advance that the strike would happen?
- How much did it cost that firm for the corparate brunch going on in Windows On The World?
- If I were minutes from death and that hottie in my office were willing, would I be capable of nailing her in front of other colleagues?
- Were there any base jumpers watching thinking, "Damn, I wish I were there"?
- Did any jumpers survive, perhaps by parachute?
- How many NYC dirtbags looted the dead and empty stores?
- How many homeless were killed?
- Do they cancel beverage service during a terrorist skyjacking?
- When do we get to hear the black box voice recorders?
- Why has the elevator company not been put out of business for their lame employees' reaction that day?
- When will they hurry up and build a bigger better trade center complex?
- Did the plane passengers only get frequent flyer miles for one segment?
- Do the passengers' families get frequent flyer Platinum status for life?
- How was the mob tied into events that day? You know they were in some way.
- Are parking tickets on destroyed cars still valid?
- Do they sell pieces of the towers online?
- Can we openly recruit suicide bombers to fly decommissioned jets into the Middle East targets?
- Why can't we hire hit men to take out these clowns in the Middle East? You know they will score.
- Are all leases in the towers null and void?
- How much confidential information was lost or used in corporate espionage?
That is all.
Coincidence or stalking?
I Found a service that will stalk someone for you and set up a chance meeting so she will start talking to you and you'll be prepped with her likes and dislikes. It's a sick world and I think I just found my life's calling.
http://www.coincidencedesign.com/
It's on
Packing my bags tonight.
Heading to NYC tomorrow morning.
Wednesday, Sept. 18, 7 pm: Opening night of
New York Film & Video Festival.
Saturday, Sept. 21, 12:10 pm: New York Film & Video Festival screening of
Curbed Enthusiasm at Village East Cinema (181 2nd Ave. @ 12th Street, NYC).
Monday, Sept. 23, 8:00 pm: The Oakland Embassy will entertain and confuse partygoers.
You're all invited.
If you attend, I guarantee fun.
Hope to see you there.
Thanks, television mofoes
I think that what has happened to the collective memory of 9/11/2001 is almost as tragic as what happened on that day. It's the same principle as repeating a word over and over and over again until it completely loses its significance and definition.
Let's try this. Say the word "holocaust" out loud. The first time you say it, it's tough. It conjures up disgusting, inhumane images of concentration camps and millions of innocent people being tortured and starved until they die.
Now say it about 20 times in a row. After about the 3rd time you say "holocaust", it just becomes an exercise in pronounciation.
Similarly, the first few teasers I saw for "9/11: A Year Later" type TV features actually hit me fairly hard. The fear, anger and sorrow I felt on that day in 2001 all came back to me for a moment.
Then came the second advertisement for a 9/11 special. Then the third. Then the 172nd.
It's amazing (but not surprising) how the media has turned possibly the most significant moment in modern history into a joke. I still cringe and want to throw up when I see the attack footage, but for entirely different reasons now; the coverage itself is what makes me angry, afraid and sorry.
While the attacks were happening, and during the one-month to one-year hangover everyone experienced after them, I don't think anyone in America needed to be told the significance of 9/11/2001. We all felt the day's impact in equal but different ways. The difference now is that news anchors are telling us that we need to remember, how we need to remember and what better way to remember than to watch a 30-minute montage of the most grim moments of that day.
Great idea! Let's make the attack footage like fucking sports highlights!
While we're at it, let's make patriotism a joke by showing an American flag flapping in the wind in slow-motion at every conceivable moment.
Instead of a tribute to the people who lost lives and loved ones on that day -- and, god forbid, educating the masses on what exactly the U.S. may have done to inspire such an attack -- it's an exercise in the ham-handedness of American TV producers.
The saddest thing of all is that there are still incredible stories out there from people who witnessed, escaped and saved lives during those attacks. I'll just never hear these stories, because I can't bear to watch any fucking TV shows about 9/11.
So, in theory, I agree with Howie and BK: Let's roll back to work, and then roll into a bar, if for no other reason to avoid the exploitative shit that will be on every TV station at all times for the forseeable future.
9-11 2 cents
After I watched that video from the French guys doing a documentary on a firehouse in downtown NYC my views of Sept 11th changed somewhat. That is an amazing piece of video. One worthy of some kind of award. I sat agasp as I heard bodies fall and heard one fireman say, "it must be pretty bad up there if the best alternative is to jump." Then I felt anxiety hoping that the firemen would get out alive before the tower collapsed. I hadn't seen the video of the plane collisions in a year but when I saw them fresh again only one thought would fill my mind... "those mother fuckers!"
Rather than remember the atrocities that occured. Rather than mourn our dead. Rather than feel the sting of the slap these idiots have given us. Rather than rally around the flag and feel like we are better than the other team, I propose the following: Let's forget. Let's forget that some idiots thought it would be a good idea to run passenger aircraft into a tall tower. Let's forget their names. Let's not give them any more mention in the media. Let's not vilify them any longer. They are nothing to us. They weren't before 9/11/01 and they shouldn't be now. Life goes on and as Americans we are the ones leading that charge. We shouldn't let these misguided boys have any more power over us than what they have already done. We're better than that. Let's do exacty what BK admonishes, let's get back to work, let's roll and for God's sake let's all go to the Star Bar and have a drink.
Remembering September 11Well, somebody had to post something...might as well be me. I will start by saying this: I generally think all this mourning is bullshit. I don't understand the point of it. But maybe that's my problem...I don't really understand the concept and never have. I certainly mean no disrespect for those who lost or gave their lives, but I don't see what good it does for everyone to put themselves through the pain all over again. My sister died many, many years ago...yet I have not once visited the cemetery where she is buried. Certainly not out of a lack of respect...I just don't get it.
So, I'm pretty open about it. I made people in my office turn off the TV coverage of the mourning. I didn't allow anyone 'personal time' to grieve (though certainly would have if there had been a close friend or family memeber lost), and didn't buy into the notion that today would basically be lost because everyone's mind would be elsewhere. Everyone wants a fucking snow day...I don't see how it helps anything.
So, here is my rallying cry to all Americans. LET'S ROLL in to work and keep doing our jobs, driving the economic machine that is this country's true source of power. If you don't like your job (or would rather not work), let's quit and do something artistic, altruistic, or otherwise valuable to someone other than yourself. If you have been laid off recently, let's roll on down to the unemployment office and stretch that check as far as it will go...use your time off to reflect and go back into the working world when you're good and ready. Let's create, take risks, start new ventures with reckless abandon, and compete with one another.
Let's not belittle the efforts of American military personnel...and let's not be made to feel small for not being in the military ourselves. Like I told my girlfriend, who is an upstanding officer in the U.S. Navy...if I thought it would make a positive difference, I would 'fight.' But I don't, so I don't. Somebody has to...if the folks in our military believe they are making great sacrifices for us and doing something positive for the world, let's encourage them...because I don't really care what they think as long as they're the ones stuck doing it and not me...in that sense they are making a sacrifice for me personally, and they deserve some amount of respect for that.
Let's kick the shit out of that guy you know when he crosses the line, BEFORE he crosses one too many times. If you can't kick the shit out of him, then find opportunities to hit him when and where he is most vulnerable, then hide. We know the latter can be effective...I have a hunch the former would as well.
Let's remember that all over the United States, people run into unthinkable hells of fire and destruction we can't even imagine to try and save the lives of people they don't know...many, like my uncle Dean, on a volunteer basis. Let's remember that those cops we hate so much do their jobs knowing they might be killed trying to protect us from ourselves.
Let's hold hands and hug only if it's going to lead to sex. If necessary, LET'S ROLL down to the Star Bar and get drunk enough that we won't be mourning that until tomorrow.
Of all the chilling images floating around from 9/11, this one moves me the most. I saw the same things on TV as everyone else. I remember watching the towers come down, thinking to myself "I just watched a couple of my best friends die." They turned out to be OK, though one did have some ash inhalation problems. The person who took this picture must have been one of the only people on the street in New York who wasn't watching the tower fall. I wonder which of these faces mine most resembled as I watched on television from a lonely villa on Mission Bay.
Scene.
Skin to Win
With the new release of AOL Instant Messenger version 5.0 last week, we can now provide you with some crappy skins for your instant messenging pleasure.
Click here to get the first LOWBAR.Entertainment AOL Instant Messenger skin
Enjoy.
Smell it, you zealot
Just this past weekend, I had my first "It's It"(TM) brand ice-cream sandwich.
It will not be the last.
It will blow your ice-cream-concoction ass out the water.
Bullets dodged
I was not laid off after all.
Go figure.
Instead of goat-feces uniform, I am wearing a semi-ironed button-down shirt and chino slacks.
I love this company!
Lay-Aufzen on das Mindd
I am about to get laid off in 45 minutes.
The sensation is a weird combination of intense anger/sense of betrayal mixed in with last-day-of-school-esque excitement and a mysterious feeling of being at peace with the universe.
I am considering coming in to work for the rest of the week wearing a uniform made of goat feces.
That'll show 'em.
