Things I Just Realized
- The delicious Mexican snacks called "flautas" are probably named that because they're shaped like flutes.
- Putting the remote control on top of the TV defeats the purpose of having a remote control.
- Humans are the only animals that pay taxes and crap their pants.
- I forgot to close my tab last night and left my ATM card at the bar.
- If Abu Hamza is ever detained and questioned about his role in terrorist acts, "interrogating the one-eyed cleric" will be a popular euphemism for whacking off.
- I don't think I've never heard a rap song with the word "terrific" in it.
- Dudes are all, "A billion dollars laid end-to-end would reach from the earth to the moon." But that would be really fucking stupid, because as soon as the money reached beyond the earth's atmosphere it would just float around willy-nilly in space. It's your money to waste if you want to lay it end-to-end into the sky, but I'd invest it instead.
Travelling Has Its Benefits!
I travel for work every week and have frequent traveller accounts with many major airlines, hotels, and car rental agencies. I recently received the following coupon from Avis because I have rented from them every week for two years:
Look at that, I get a FREE COMPANION! Now that is what I call customer service!!! I am going to call right away! I am thinking blonde, tall, blue eyes, BOOBIES!!!
You Want Fries With That Shake? - Chapter 2
As an update to a previous post, I am clearly deliniating that 1, b, and III are all accurate assessments of the staff at drive-thru windows at fast food joints. This time I went to Burger King and announced that I had a coupon for a free Whopper. I purchased one value meal and got a free Whopper, no questions asked, and no coupon required. I will report back with any new findings.
Captain Heinous Revisited
There are actually viewers and fans of this site. Now if you believe that, a friend sent in the following ad he discovered that exemplifies the early Captain Heinous motto: "Off with Brain, On with Mouth!"
For da record
1) Please please PLEASE post a link to the Delta add! God I have to hear that!
2) I do not frequent cool bars.
