Lowbar

Lowbar the novel

On November 1st I will start writing a novel and will use Lowbar as the location for posting. This will be my participation in National Novel Writing Month, where the goal is to write a novel of 50,000 words by November 30th.

posted by Howie Hardcore @ 10/24/2004 04:35:00 PM 0 Comments

Addendum to Electoral Vote

Kerry still has a chance... If he can win in Wisconsin then he takes the race even if he loses Iowa and Florida. With Wisconsin he'll have 272 E.V.'s.

The latest polls from Wisconsin show Bush up 1 point on average but support appears to be slipping.

BTW, I think that Kerry will win in Florida but that there will be major legal challenges and the Bush will ultimatly win, which may be moot if Kerry accomplishes the above scenario.

P.S. I voted absentee the other day and there was a woman in front of me who was all jittery and somewhat excited to vote early because, as she put it, "You never know what the terrorists are going to do, you know, like Madrid." I have to believe that with "normal" people walking around scared out of thier wits still about terrorism that Bush stands a really good shot at winning (and this was in downtown San Francisco).

posted by Howie Hardcore @ 10/23/2004 01:55:00 PM 0 Comments

Get Your Electoral College Calculators Out

Here are my picks for the state by state election results.

Previously I had Kerry winning by two votes but it looks like Bush will take Iowa, with that he will win by two, so yet again, without Florida the Democrats will loose. I'm betting that Florida yet again will have major headaches and court battles but that Bush will win in the end.

Go to this page on the NY Times to make yer own picks...

posted by Howie Hardcore @ 10/21/2004 07:25:00 PM 0 Comments

Chairman of the bored

Dick Cheney makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Especially when he talks about terrorists detonating nuclear bombs in American cities. You know, I was going to vote for Kerry, but Dick has made me so scared that I'd better vote for Bush or Cheyenne, Wyoming might not exist tomorrow.

Polls are tied 48/48. Anyone wanna wager? I got $20 on Kerry.

posted by Howie Hardcore @ 10/19/2004 06:32:00 PM 0 Comments

Nailbiter

I've heard it said in recent days that Florida, Ohio and Pennsylania are the key to this election. If either candidate wins two of the three then they will win the Presidency. Here are the latest polls from those states:

Florida: Bush +2.3
Ohio: Kerry +1
Pennsylvania: Kerry +3.4

All eyes on Ohio. If Kerry gets Ohio then he also needs Iowa and New Mexico. If Bush loses Florida then it is over for him and the same goes of Kerry with Pennsylvania.

Iowa: Kerry +.07
New Mexico: TIE!

Due to the fact that the House of Representatives decides a tie (and it is Republican controlled), Bush only needs 269 electoral votes.

Source: Realclearpolitics.com

posted by Howie Hardcore @ 10/16/2004 10:18:00 PM 0 Comments

18 days and counting...

Bush: 277
Kerry: 261
Source: CNN daily electoral map

posted by Howie Hardcore @ 10/15/2004 10:39:00 PM 0 Comments

Two Gallon Challenge Met in Cinci

The hangovers are now drifting away and it is time for the Lowbar field report on the events of 19 September 2004. Following the AF Marathon the previous day, the Lowbar team got an early start, arriving in Cinci around 11:00 am. The annual Oktoberfest celebration was just kicking off as the team checked into the hotel, situated in the heart of the party. Here are the top fifteen highlights (not in chronological order) of the 12-hour defeat of the Two Gallon Challenge (2GC):

#	Event	Quote
15	Homeless Help: After being approached by a “homeless” man looking for handouts to “help his shelter,” the Captain and Freshmilk donated to the good cause. Apparently Freshmilk wanted him to go away ten times more than the Captain, as they contributed $10 and 1$ respectively.	[Captain, looking at the literature handed to him by homeless man] “Hey, we’ve been taken, this has nothing to do with a homeless shelter!”
14	Hofbrauhaus: Though it was the last recorded event of the 2GC, the Lowbar team rounded out their Oktoberfest by having dinner at the infamous Hofbrauhaus in Newport, KY. The Hofbrau was kind enough to donate a litre glass to the Lowbar souvenir collection.	[Freshmilk] “How can we smuggle this huge thing?” [Captain] “Why smuggle? There’s the door.” [Team as they exit] “Thanks Hofbrau!”
13	Not going to Bengals/Dolphins Game: After much deliberation, the Lowbar team decides wisely not to go to the evening football game.	[Captain] “I really can’t decide, what do you think?” [Freshmilk] “Mfphglibersd” [Captain] “Yeah, let’s bag it and go to Hofbrau.”
12	Warsteiner Button Distribution: Handing out Warsteiner buttons to a toothless wonder in the hotel elevator.	[Toothless Wonder] “Thanks for the button, but my husband is the beer drinker.”
11	Chicken Dance: The Lowbar team races back to the Oktoberfest after the Reds/Cubs game to participate in the world’s largest Chicken dance, led by rocker Vince Neal.	[Freshmilk, running behind Captain while dodging crowd] “We’re not gonna make it.” [Captain, dodging people and performing Chicken Dance enroute] “Oh we’re gonna make it!”
10	Trashing Hotel Room: The Lowbar team, after countless hours of German beer consumption, return to reenact the Perfect Storm in the hotel room. Though furniture and accoutrement were rearranged, no physical damage was witnessed.	[Captain, trying to iron shirt the next day on what was Freshmilk’s surfboard the previous evening] “My shirt is getting more wrinkled using this damned thing!”
9	Hotel Concierge Match-making: For some odd reason, the two concierge ladies did not want to join the 2GC with the Lowbar team.	[Staring at tits while she hands over a business card] “How do we get in touch with you two later.”
8	Chicken Hat Shopping: Fun was had by all as the Lowbar team shopped through countless configurations of chicken and fowl customized hats. Seemingly these were to be worn during the world’s largest Chicken Dance.	[Addressing vendor with respect to the vast selection] “Excuse me, do you have a Cock?”
7	Rooting for Chicago Cubs’ Sammy Sosa from Row X: Much team support was felt by all as the Captain led numerous chants, in Spanish of course, for the Cubs outfielder Sammy Sosa.	[Captain leading cheer] “Vamanos Sammy!” [Clap, clap – clap, clap, clap]
6	Spin the Prize Wheel: The Lowbar team became regulars at the promotional stand that had a wheel to spin for prizes. After approximately 14 attempts throughout the day, they walked away with 3 rubber footballs. These will be used later.	[Captain] “Why are we doing this again?” [Freshmilk] “Because it’s fun.” [Captain] “Oh yeah, OK.”
5	Warsteiner Babe Hilarity: Seemingly for no reason other than pure inebriation, the Captain starts laughing at a really hot babe at the Warsteiner beer stand to her horror. After Freshmilk puts him in his place, she laughs in the Captain’s face!	[Freshmilk] “Why are you laughing?” [Captain] “Heh, I don’t know.”
4	Lotion Ball: Realizing that one of the grand prize rubber footballs had fallen into a pile of hand lotion, the Lowbar team became distressed. Among a vast sea of Oktoberfest goers, there was only one thing left to do.	[Freshmilk] “What do we do with this thing now, that’s pretty nasty?” [Captain – turns and launches perfect spiral 30 yards into crowd]
3	Hospitality Suite at hotel: The service and amenities were flawless at the concierge-level hospitality suite. The patrons and guest did not seem to mind as the Lowbar team cleared out the hor’derves, surfed porn on the internet, and used the storage closet as a restroom.	[From storage closet] “Damnit, this is only a 20 ounce cup and I can’t stop pissing!
2	Running Bases after Reds/Cubs Game: Fearlessly rounding the bases among throngs of screaming children. Rounding third and running wide outside of baseline, nearly knocking into grounds official. Also, received a certificate for said accomplishment.	[Grounds Official] “Hey, stay off the grass!” [Captain] “I can’t man, I’m addicted.”
1	2GC Victory! Each team member consumed 279.44 ounces of beer, surpassing the 2GC by a 20-ouncer! The conversions were carefully calculated and results precisely tabulated by Tag Heuer.	[Captain, arriving at airport the next day at 0900 to drop off Freshmilk] “Dude, you still have on your 2GC wristband.”

posted by Captain Heinous @ 10/08/2004 07:36:00 AM 0 Comments

Debates: Why Bother?

I still fail to understand the logic of watching the debates. If you don't already know who you're voting for, you probably don't deserve to vote. If you do already know who you're voting for, then why waste the 2 hours?

posted by Bil Klinton @ 10/02/2004 12:01:00 AM 0 Comments

Reflections on the Debate

1. Bush came across as either a)cocky b)tired c)bored d)aloof - I'm not sure which. His campaign claims he was tired after touring Florida hurricane damage. Maybe so but he seems like a high school kid who didn't do his homework and doesn't give a shit.

2. Kerry said what he needed to say about Iraq. He should have said it months ago but he was eloquent enough to get the message through.

3. Bush loves to play the fear card -"you better do eat your peas or you won't get any dessert." "You'd better vote for me so we can win the War on Terror." -Lame.

4. Teresa Heinz Kerry is looking for a fight. Did you notice how, when the Bushes turned away from the Kerrys (when they should have greeted the Kerrys) that she raised her arm in a "what's with these people" gesture? Like Mt. St. Helens siesmologists are closely watching Teresa's lava dome.

5. Kerry took the high ground a couple of times, i.e., when he said he wouldn't comment on Bush's character and when he acknowledged the First Lady etc. This was probably a good move but who knows, Americans love a fight and don't understand chivalry.

6. I think Bush actually went over his time more than Kerry did. So all that posturing by the Bush campaign to get the lights on camera actually backfired for them.

7. I think Bush did a good job of wrapping up his statements. Each time the red light came on he'd think of a quick sound bite and thump the podium a bit.

8. Bush needs to stop saying "uhhhhh."

posted by Howie Hardcore @ 10/01/2004 10:24:00 AM 0 Comments