Action Item: Strategize my go-live slide deck
I decided to quit my very easy job and take harder, more mainstream consulting job at a Big 4 Consulting company. I don't dare mention their name (DT) here because they have resources to comb through rarely visited website for their company name in order to add people to their "list".
As y'all know, I once worked for PwC and this is very similar to that (except there is less drinking). I had forgotton how lovely it is to hear such action phrases as:
Ping, end-of-the-day, moving target, successfully navigate, gap, scenarios, client site, on my radar, strategize, deliverable, go-live, on tap, slide deck, on-my-plate, compartmentalize and reach out.
I'm also greatly "impacted" by how much my fellow consultants love to pontificate about innane matters, or "participate in circular conversations" as they put it. As a result, communication that could be achieved in simple grunts (as we communicate in my household) now require hours of "face time" scheduled via reoccuring meeting coordinators and MS Outlook and they frequently involve "take-aways" and "action items" (this last phrase got some "air play" from Crazy Chuck a while ago as well).
So basically the "view from 30,000 feet" is that it's a nutty, mixed up world here at the "Global SI's". Now if I could just find a firm partner that utters phrases like "monkey's trying to fuck a football" I'd be in great shape.
Match 3 For Tee
Pepsi is running a
Match 3 for Tee promotion where you match 3 caps showing the same NFL team and "win" a free t-shirt. I have created a site to facilitate trading of these caps, to promote winning. Also as a bit of an experiment. Here are some links below, so you can get to it, and in hopes that
Google picks it up.
Match 3 For Tee
Match Three 4 Tee
Match 3 4 Tee
Match Three For Tee
Trade pepsi caps
trade mountain dew caps
trade diet pepsi caps
trade caps
. . . S P Y R E P O R T . . . S P Y R E P O R T . . .
While travelling to an "Undisclosed Location" this week, I was able to obtain unreleased photographs from the evidence file surrounding the final flight of Captain Heinous. Henious and his crew, aboard "Security Force" Aircraft #N/8/16, went down near Bumpass, VA due to the irrepressible force of Hurricane Charley. Enjoy these while you can, as the Federal Aviary Administration will surely push a cease and desist order through on us within a couple days, and we'll have to pull the pics down. The entire crew of #N/8/16 has been missing since the incident. If you have any information which may lead to the recovery of the Captain or his intrepid agents, dead or alive, please inform The Management.
If you do encounter Captain Heinous, and he offers you a flight, ride, drink, candy, money, or "companionship," DO NOT ACCEPT. Fall to the ground and play dead to the best of your ability. He will most likely toss candy corn in your general direction, then move on to a more suitable target.
Heinous on the run (1999 File Photo):
Oooooouuuuuuchhhhhh!
When I went to Lowbar.com today I saw a Google ad for the yellow ribbon magnets to "support our troops."
$.99 Yellow Ribbon Magnet
Free Shipping. Support Our Troops Ribbon Car Magnets Great Fundraiser
www.MagnetAmerica.com
That is all I need to yank the ads off.
BTW, I tried to get to blogger to post yesterday but the bloggosphere (how dorky is that phrase?) musta been all clogged up with frantic bloggers. I wanted to post the lyrics to O Canada because in the words of BK, "we're all doomed." Yes indeed we are and I echo the words of the UK press, "How can 59,054,087 people be so dumb?"
The day here in San Francisco was truly depressing. It rained hard, which is a little rare for this time of year and everyone was sad. The tally for the City of San Francisco was 82% for Kerry, so basically the whole town got spanked. Adding insult to injury it looks like the GOP successfully turned gay marraige into a reason to vote for Bush, which I don't think ever crossed Gavin Newsom's mind.
I went to the best italian deli in the city, Molinari's in North Beach, for lunch where there is usually a long line. I walked right up and ordered. I asked the guys at the counter where all the people were. "Everyone's depressed, at home, crying because Bush won." "Ever been to Montreal?" the guy making my sandwich asked. "It's lovely there and the girls are beautiful."
Ads by Ignoramus
Doubt you're going to get there with the Google Ads either, chimp.
I take it back
I'm not going to write a novel. I will however redouble my efforts to make loads of money, which up until this point have been rather lackluster. According to recent books I have read on the subject I merely need to:
A. Visualize the massive sums of cash, huge house overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge, or Ferrari Murcielago. Visualization is the key. However I need to be careful not to visualize somebody else's Ferrari for that might cause that person give me the keys to their car as I hold them up with a .38.
B. Read Carl Jung and go golfing. This advice comes from Donald Trump. He would know, he has a hit t.v. show. Carl Jung teaches us that the greatest treasures are inside ourselves and golf teaches us how to cheat while in the presence of people in stupid clothing.
C. Have a winner's attitued. Know that I am going to win no matter how bad it may look. Polls have me getting only 1% of the popular vote, no problem, I'm still going to win. I owe more than I make in a year to the IRS, no biggie, the next big deal is just around the corner -- c'mon eight!
D. Realize that karma can bite you in the rear. The person I step on today, may karate chop me in the larynx tomorrow. Saying hello and being nice to strangers will cause them to stuff hundred dollar bills into my shirt.
E. Focus only on the positives, never the negatives. We are what we think. If I am covered in ca-ca, notice how nice the brown goes with my green trousers. The rich get richer because they are surrounded by abundance and because they can afford mind-expanding drugs, which give them the creativity to think up news ways to make moeny. The poor get poorer because they have to eat and it costs money to eat.
So I'll keep posting how this little experiment of mine is going. I'm already doing the visualization. I'm visualizing the house and around here they sell in the 2-8 million range (I have some work to do). I visualize that I walk into the house and check out all the rooms and the nice view but that I'm wearing a ski mask, so I'm not quite to the point where I believe my fantasy but I'm working on it.
If I'm verbose enough and it comes out to over 50k words then I will indeed have the requirements for the
National Novel Writing Month Challenge. I doubt it though (see how I've employed the "positive thinking approach?), and that's not the goal. The goal is $$$$ cash.
Now I'm visualizing Kerry taking Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania.
