A joke, yes. We will laugh in the car.
| Dr. Hans Blix, U.N Chief Weapons Inspector | Dr. Hanz Blixxx, U.N. Bikini Inspector |
| "We are not coming to Iraq to harass or to insult or humiliate them." | "They call me Hanz. Let me show you why. Please accompany me to the Tiki Hut for Cristal and rub-downs." |
| "Not seeing something, not seeing an indication of something, does not lead automatically to the conclusion that there is nothing." | "Girl, the last time I saw curves that dangerous was when I was the 1986 World Rally Championship Series Champion." |
| "They said they had been surprised themselves [about finding the empty warheads]. They were in boxes, never opened -- there were bird droppings on them. But of course they should have been declared and destroyed." | "I work for the U.N... as in U-N-me are made for each other, girl." |
| "When we find material for chemical ammunition, we have to ask ourselves, 'Is this just one find or are there more?' When we find documents at a private house, we must ask ourselves, 'Are there more when they say there are no more documents?'" | "I declare your J. Lo perfume to be an unauthorized chemical weapon... of a most sexual nature." |
| "We now have been there for some two months and have been covering the country in ever-wider sweeps, and we haven't found any smoking guns." | "I declare you to be the bomb, but it would be a shame to conceal or destroy your weaponry. Care for a closer inspection?" |