This War is Funny
Assuming that something really nasty like a chemical attack doesn't happen, this war may turn out to be one of the most amusing wars in recent memory. I will be on the look out for amusing bits but here's a couple I've seen so far that made me laugh out loud:
1. An airfield in Northern Iraq was taken by US forces and soldiers took it upon themselves to graffiti up one of the ubiquitous Saddam images that stood at the entrance of the airport. One soldier painted a very large "Mean People Suck" over the front of it.
2. Jessica Lynch's family. I don't mean to be cruel and poke fun at them, but they make me laugh. They are very genuine and very West Virginian. I especially like it when the brother talks. I won't try to explain it, you have to experience it.
3. I thought the way Ari Fleischer announced the war's begining was hilarious. The door slid open, Ari did a quick walk to the podium, looked at his notes, stared at the cameras and said with clenched jaw, "The war to liberate Iraq has begun." He then looked down at his notes and ran out of the room. I don't know it just seemed so juvenille, like when a girl in the third grade says she wants to "go with you" and then runs away.
4. The way Gen. Myers defended Rumsfeld the other day was so cute. With the Pentagon under fire for not supplying enough troops for the war, reporters were dogging Rumsfeld for insights as to battle plan preparations. During this, Gen. Myers butted in and decided to defend his boss. I wonder if they kissed afterwards.
5. The British. These guys are getting pounded and doing what appears to be the heavy lifting of this war. I dig it when they are interviewed, they're so calm and so British. Maybe they wouldn't be shot at so much if they took those big feathers out of their berets.
6. Iraq's Information Minister was giving a speech full of misinformation to Iraqi television today, stating that US troops were not within 100 miles of Baghdad, just then the power went out. I doesn't sound like the US was responsible but whoever was had great timing.
7. Judy Woodruff. Judy is so matronly, god love 'er. I feel like Mother Teresa is giving me the news.
8. US Troops yesterday drove their jeeps into Najaf, Iraq and were met with Iraqis doing the usual frantic hand waving-over-the-head routine (where did they learn this?). The Iraqis were under the false impression that the troops were going to invade a mosque or some holy site. The result was a tense standoff between irrational Iraqis and armed soldiers. The colonel on the scene did his best to diffuse the situation. He ordered his troops to point their guns down, smile and act casual. When that didn't work he told his boys to turn around and leave. As he left he bowed a few times toward the crowd and performed a sweeping hand motion at his midsection, like something you'd see from a servant in the King and I (did he learn to do this in sensitivity training?). The sight of a US colonel, fully armed, mirrored sunglasses, bowing to a group of arabs is pretty humorous. I bet the arabs in the crowd were doubled over laughing at that one.
9. Dee Dee Meyers attempts to bring back the Ann Taylor red power suit. What is it with Republican women and that god-awful suit? Cameramen have to recalibrate their white balance every time she enters the lens. I had hoped that the suit was a vestage of the past gone down in flames with the '92 Bush campaign but it's back.
10. CNN's Headline News new noon hour anchor man. This guy is like 22 years old. I don't think his voice has changed yet. The other day he asked if the Mets were going to win the Super Bowl and then corrected himself and asked "how dumb is that?" He's kind of a Ben Afleck look-alike, which probably help him land the job. Scrutinizing his performance has helped take the edge off the death and destruction. Whole drinking games could revolve around his delivery.
