Whither the Captain?Is Captain Heinous gonna represent up in this piece or what? Mofo been gone too long.
Speaking of Captain Heinous, while contemplating the usual tedium such as suicide, time travel, etc, I harkened back to a call I had received from Captain Heinous a few nights earlier. The Captain was in a bar in Dayton (where he is stuck during the week on a consulting gig), completely by himself, drinking himself into oblivion and talking into a cell phone. Talking to ME in a cell phone, I'm proud to report. The CAPT is an interesting guy...judging him superficially, I wouldn't think of him as the type I would end up being friends with. As I'm sure he would admit, he's kind of bought into the whole yuppie thing. But there is this other side of the Captain...in fact, the Captain Heinous character himself IS the other side of this business-like Mr John Doe (real name omitted because he's a fucking pussy). The Captain himself has any number of explanations for his own behavior, but it comes down to 1) insert as much intoxicating substance as the body will bear, 2) proceed to do
whatever the fuck comes to mind. I don't know that I've ever seen anyone else achieve the transcendental state of freedom that CAPT does on a good bender. Captain Heinous, we salute you.
"I had four hours for that fucking 19 year old and she fucking knew it, man. I'm telling you. She gave me that look."
