Amigo, a round of drinks for all of my friends...
I participated in perhaps the most grotesque disregard of sobriety I have even witnessed since the dawn of my persona. Together with my compadre Freshmilk, I fell victim to the magic song of the drunken sirens singing "All you can Drink." We went to the McFatties bar in DC for a birthday party, where, though I did meet the birthday girl, I have only one intellible sentence that I remember speaking to her, or anyone at the party for that matter. I managed to say "Hi, nice to meet you," perhaps the last words uttered until complete disaster.
Freshmilk and I, after wading through the rediculously packed bar scene, made our way to the "hot corner," where we proceded to B.I.D.(Break It Down). Oh God. We made the mistake of tipping the bartender so that never was there an empty "free" glass of [rail] gin and tonic. I lost track after 10 or 12, drinks, not O'Clock, although the same holds for both. We started at rougly 10 PM and established at 10:30, given our breakneck pace, that we needed "an 11 O'Clock Plan." 11 PM came and went and I contracted CRS (Can't Remember Shit) after 11:15.
Apparently we kept up the pace and around midnight, I apparently disappeared, seemingly to make my way home. Accordingly to eyewitnesses, I apparently talked to the BDay girl and eluded to the positive aspects of immediate conjugal nocturnal visits. I have absolutely no recolection of this debate whatsoever. I miraculaously made it home by 12:15 according to other eyewitness accounts, namely, the gatekeeper. Freshmilk, amazingly, closed the bar down and found a way to teleport home at 3:30 AM!
For those astute readers, you will recognize that this is all too reminiscent of the creation of the Captain, albeit straight vodka, not mixed gin. I could not have possibly predicted that this blatant disregard for pleasant and jovial sociality would remind me of those woeful hangovers in the early days of heinocity. The classic telltale signs are there. 1) Drinking myself into an immediate stupor at one pace...full speed, 2) Initiating some rediculous, awful, likely offensive conversation,and 3) Making it home safe and sound. Super Hero this Captain Heinous he is, yes? (Yoda) EGADS!!! Well, time for another weekend. Amigo!
