Last night I was in WalMart looking through the DVDs on sale. I really like buying those old classics like Animal House, 12 O'Clock High, Porky's, and others that I really dug in my earlier years, but only if i can get them for around 5 bux. So here I am looking through the sale junk, though I was about to invest in the Scarface 2-DVD set, when this little hottie comes up and asks me about the difference in "full screen" versus "wide screen."
The next thing I know we run off hand in hand to the linens section, DVDs tossed aside now useless. I grabbed her firmly behind the neck and gently pulled her close, planting a deep, tongue-incensed kiss on her full moist lips. She reaches up and pulls off her halter top, exposing her college-age, plump, ripe breasts, with nipples proturuding out like 2nd grade pencil erasers. I begin to suckle them with the tip of my tongue and then just dive in and all out slurp/suck those doorstops like I was feeding.
We ease off into a corner where the 2nd rate curtains are displayed and wrap ourselves into a secluded cacoon. We are suddenly and mysteriously naked and I ease myself into her inviting, tan thighs. We begin to make passionate, though discreet, love right there in the Home Furnishings Aisle 16, just out of sight from the security cameras. I reach the finish line just as she is writhing in ecstasy and we both collapse exhausted yet fulfilled in the curtain sale box area.
Just then I realize that, just before I selected one of Al Pacino's finest masterpieces, I had been to the local TGI Fridays and had 4 Long Island Iced Teas in the course of 15 minutes and one Cajun Shrimp Pasta dish. As I reeled myself out of the fixed, psychotic gaze into these luciously firm and inviting Grand Titans, I explained that the a widescreen edition of a movie presents the film frame as it was seen in the movie theater and because a movie screen is a wide rectangle and a television screen is more like a square in shape, the movie image has to be sandwiched between two black bars to fill up the space. A full screen edition of the movie ,on the other hand, does away with the black bars, and instead fills your television from top to bottom with image. However, since it's impossible to cram a rectangle into a square, the sides of the film frame have to be chopped off (or "cropped"). You're only seeing a portion of the entire image, but that image at least fills up your television screen.
Alas, the coed departed with a mere thank you and I proceeded to say hello to my little friend.
