The hangovers are now drifting away and it is time for the Lowbar field report on the events of 19 September 2004. Following the AF Marathon the previous day, the Lowbar team got an early start, arriving in Cinci around 11:00 am. The annual Oktoberfest celebration was just kicking off as the team checked into the hotel, situated in the heart of the party. Here are the top fifteen highlights (not in chronological order) of the 12-hour defeat of the Two Gallon Challenge (2GC):

#	Event	Quote
15	Homeless Help: After being approached by a “homeless” man looking for handouts to “help his shelter,” the Captain and Freshmilk donated to the good cause. Apparently Freshmilk wanted him to go away ten times more than the Captain, as they contributed $10 and 1$ respectively.	[Captain, looking at the literature handed to him by homeless man] “Hey, we’ve been taken, this has nothing to do with a homeless shelter!”
14	Hofbrauhaus: Though it was the last recorded event of the 2GC, the Lowbar team rounded out their Oktoberfest by having dinner at the infamous Hofbrauhaus in Newport, KY. The Hofbrau was kind enough to donate a litre glass to the Lowbar souvenir collection.	[Freshmilk] “How can we smuggle this huge thing?” [Captain] “Why smuggle? There’s the door.” [Team as they exit] “Thanks Hofbrau!”
13	Not going to Bengals/Dolphins Game: After much deliberation, the Lowbar team decides wisely not to go to the evening football game.	[Captain] “I really can’t decide, what do you think?” [Freshmilk] “Mfphglibersd” [Captain] “Yeah, let’s bag it and go to Hofbrau.”
12	Warsteiner Button Distribution: Handing out Warsteiner buttons to a toothless wonder in the hotel elevator.	[Toothless Wonder] “Thanks for the button, but my husband is the beer drinker.”
11	Chicken Dance: The Lowbar team races back to the Oktoberfest after the Reds/Cubs game to participate in the world’s largest Chicken dance, led by rocker Vince Neal.	[Freshmilk, running behind Captain while dodging crowd] “We’re not gonna make it.” [Captain, dodging people and performing Chicken Dance enroute] “Oh we’re gonna make it!”
10	Trashing Hotel Room: The Lowbar team, after countless hours of German beer consumption, return to reenact the Perfect Storm in the hotel room. Though furniture and accoutrement were rearranged, no physical damage was witnessed.	[Captain, trying to iron shirt the next day on what was Freshmilk’s surfboard the previous evening] “My shirt is getting more wrinkled using this damned thing!”
9	Hotel Concierge Match-making: For some odd reason, the two concierge ladies did not want to join the 2GC with the Lowbar team.	[Staring at tits while she hands over a business card] “How do we get in touch with you two later.”
8	Chicken Hat Shopping: Fun was had by all as the Lowbar team shopped through countless configurations of chicken and fowl customized hats. Seemingly these were to be worn during the world’s largest Chicken Dance.	[Addressing vendor with respect to the vast selection] “Excuse me, do you have a Cock?”
7	Rooting for Chicago Cubs’ Sammy Sosa from Row X: Much team support was felt by all as the Captain led numerous chants, in Spanish of course, for the Cubs outfielder Sammy Sosa.	[Captain leading cheer] “Vamanos Sammy!” [Clap, clap – clap, clap, clap]
6	Spin the Prize Wheel: The Lowbar team became regulars at the promotional stand that had a wheel to spin for prizes. After approximately 14 attempts throughout the day, they walked away with 3 rubber footballs. These will be used later.	[Captain] “Why are we doing this again?” [Freshmilk] “Because it’s fun.” [Captain] “Oh yeah, OK.”
5	Warsteiner Babe Hilarity: Seemingly for no reason other than pure inebriation, the Captain starts laughing at a really hot babe at the Warsteiner beer stand to her horror. After Freshmilk puts him in his place, she laughs in the Captain’s face!	[Freshmilk] “Why are you laughing?” [Captain] “Heh, I don’t know.”
4	Lotion Ball: Realizing that one of the grand prize rubber footballs had fallen into a pile of hand lotion, the Lowbar team became distressed. Among a vast sea of Oktoberfest goers, there was only one thing left to do.	[Freshmilk] “What do we do with this thing now, that’s pretty nasty?” [Captain – turns and launches perfect spiral 30 yards into crowd]
3	Hospitality Suite at hotel: The service and amenities were flawless at the concierge-level hospitality suite. The patrons and guest did not seem to mind as the Lowbar team cleared out the hor’derves, surfed porn on the internet, and used the storage closet as a restroom.	[From storage closet] “Damnit, this is only a 20 ounce cup and I can’t stop pissing!
2	Running Bases after Reds/Cubs Game: Fearlessly rounding the bases among throngs of screaming children. Rounding third and running wide outside of baseline, nearly knocking into grounds official. Also, received a certificate for said accomplishment.	[Grounds Official] “Hey, stay off the grass!” [Captain] “I can’t man, I’m addicted.”
1	2GC Victory! Each team member consumed 279.44 ounces of beer, surpassing the 2GC by a 20-ouncer! The conversions were carefully calculated and results precisely tabulated by Tag Heuer.	[Captain, arriving at airport the next day at 0900 to drop off Freshmilk] “Dude, you still have on your 2GC wristband.”

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