Fantastic ways to celebrate your Irish heritage and confuse the amateurs on amateur night.

Plan 1: Mobius Drunk

1. Be of Irish heritage.
2. Attend a St. Patrick's Day party at your office or after work.
3. Act like you are very offended by the Irish stereotypes that surround St. Patrick's Day. As you drink, complain loudly about how the Irish are portrayed.
4. Ironically reinforce these stereotypes by becoming increasingly drunk and violent as you complain about them.

Plan 2: BlarneyTime

1. Drink liquor until sick.
2. Vomit shamrocks.
3. Shamrocks should leave a trail of rainbow-colored light as they are projected from your mouth.

Plan 3: Top o' the Mornin'

1. Open a bar on St. Patrick's Day.
2. Serve green beer on St. Patrick's Day.
3. Continue to serve green beer in the weeks following St. Patrick's Day.
4. When a patron mentions it's probably time to stop putting food coloring in the beer, reply: "Food coloring?"

Plan 4: Tam o' Shanter

1. Challenge leprechauns to a game of basket-ball.
2. Lose the game of basket-ball to the leprechauns.
3. Refuse to shake their hands after the match, claiming you don't want to catch leprechaun herpes.
4. While you were playing basket-ball against and insulting the leprechauns, your accomplice $helbb should have been stealing their credit-card numbers by combing through the trash outside of their leprechaun homes.
5. Using the credit-card numbers, perform leprechaun identity theft.

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